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May 29, 2011
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The race to the cabins is on!  Let's see how the Diamond Dogs are doing in the woods…

"Dory! Adler!  This is no stroll through the park!"

"We're tryin' to keep up, Sir Roland, but the Duke here is comin' down with the tremors.  I think the jungle heat is gettin' to him…"

"Jungle heat, my foot!  I suppose he could keep up if he had his, what do they call it -- Peruvian marching powder?  Well, it's time he manned up.  You and Dory don't need to help him walk.  If he's ambushed by those jungle ninjas it's one less worry for the rest of us!"

"Watch out Sir Roland!  Quicksand ahead!"

"Don't try to change the subject, Dory -–"

"If anyone knows from quicksand it's me!  Don't put your foot out –- "

(Sploosh)

"Well, don't just stand there you ninnies, get me out of here!  Throw me a vine, Spider!"

"Hmmm…you're didn't say the magic word…I think you can fend for yourself, baby spider…"

"Oh, when I get out of here I'll vote you out so quickly –- Jareth, help!"

"Ah, this reminds me of all the fun I have suspending prisoners over the Bog of Eternal Stench.  You sure we can't take a break to watch him struggle, Partners?"

"Now now, Your Majesty, have a heart.  C'mon, Lodger, let's make a human chain…"

"I just hope Sir Roland has that compass in a safe place…he's not much of a leader, is he?"

Meanwhile, the Astronettes are on the move!

"That was my best hiking platform boot, too…"

"Be lucky that snare didn't take the rest of you up with it, Ziggy.  We'll just have to leave it behind for now.  Take off the other one, too; can't have you limping through the woods."

"But Daaaaaave, how am I supposed to walk barefoot in all this brush?  Oooooh, I can feel my feet itching already…"

"Look out, Major Tom!  Ninjas!"

(A treacherous jungle ninja drops from a tree above and onto the Major's back.  Pierrot pulls him off and knocks the ninja to the ground, where he lies unconscious.)

"Thanks, Pierrot.  I owe you one…"

"Oh, as ever it is nothing, Major."

As the Major and Pierrot move on, an observer notes: "Nothing, indeed.  Strange how this pale creature so nobly watches over this explorer, asking nothing for the protection he provides.  Such selflessness is a rare thing indeed in humans, if indeed he is one…"

"You're starting to ramble again, Mr. Priest."

"Forgive me, Mr. Newton.  I realize you're no philosopher, but you are a deeper soul than you know, a stranger in a strange land, if you will…"

At the back of the group: "Oh, this is ridiculous!  Why not a chauffeured limo to the cabin?  One last bit of luxury before the 'roughing it' these producers are so intent on putting us through…are you snickering at me, Sers?"

"Me?  Never.  But it's time you toughened up, Mr. Screamin'.  A few survival skills can make all the difference when a world tour goes wrong, you know…Hey, there's a little blue flag fluttering over the treetops!  We must be getting close!"

Looks like the Astronettes are about to win the challenge...
The second part of the Cracked Actor Comic reality show challenge, as the Bowie personae seek out their cabins.
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:iconvampireoftheopera:
VampireOfTheOpera Featured By Owner May 30, 2011
I think Ziggy has drugs. XD What security person would willingly search him? o.O
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:iconsapphireeyes:
SapphireEyes Featured By Owner May 30, 2011
Oh, I could think of a few who would gladly search him...
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:iconvampireoftheopera:
VampireOfTheOpera Featured By Owner May 31, 2011
...not with the looks he'd be giving them. And if they did, I think he could convince them not to take his drugs. ;)
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:iconsapphireeyes:
SapphireEyes Featured By Owner May 30, 2011
Well, the poor Duke needs something to get him through the challenges to come! Maybe Sir Roland is right that he needs to toughen up, but there's a reason rehab usually doesn't take place in the jungle...
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:iconkayiae:
Kayiae Featured By Owner May 30, 2011
Aaand Julian Preist cracks me up again!

Wonder if Ramona will be sellin' some them interest drugs to the Duke, if ya know what I'm sayin'?
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